http://www.empowerthedream.com/stop-beating/www.EmpowerTheDream.comDo you beat yourself up over little things? Big things? Everything?
I hear this kind of thing from many gals. Gals that are doing amazing things to keep it all together. Doing their best to create the life or career they desire. Gals like you and me. Gals who are seekers for clarity and motivated to go for it.
So what’s this beating up thing all about? In a moment, I will share some easy suggestions to stop it and the huge negative impact if you do not.
I recently went thru a little berating of myself because I didn’t get something done. I then realized what the hell I was doing to myself. Beating myself up for not getting something done was so completely draining to my energy and created way to much negative emotion attention.
How exhausting and what a waste of energy. We get busy, we forget things right?
I have big goals and do pretty good at staying on task. I weekly session with my awesome coaching clients, a mastermind group, in person and online meetings on a regular basis, I’m in a training program that requires daily participation…etc. All these things fill me up!
Then there are the dentist and doctor’s appointments, Pilates and all personal care things. That stuff was making it onto my schedule and I was doing it. Energy is great here.
But then it happened. Last week I missed something.
I left it in my head and never got it into my calendar. I didn’t block out a time and say, "For these 15 minutes I am .. " Instead I kept on thinking about it when I couldn’t do anything about it. I’d remember when I was driving. When I was in line at Whole Foods. When I was in the shower. When I was falling asleep.
Can you relate?
So what happened here? I ended up putting a lot of energy towards this specific task. I was expending energy throughout my day. Always having this in the back of my mind but never having the space to do it. This has been going on for over a week. Yikes. 1 week of energy trying to remember this and then beating myself up when I did not.
Now let’s be clear – it doesn’t matter what the thing is. It could have easily been making a phone call. Paying a bill. Answering an email. Working out. The list can go on. But so often these little things that are quick and easy to finish sit there and linger in our minds. They start to control us. And they don’t get done. I found for me, it’s because I didn’t schedule it in my calendar. Super simple solution… to an annoying energy drain.
But wait, there is more that happened. When we beat ourselves up over small things or ANYTHING – we are imprinting in our soul how we are a failure. You’ve got to hear this.
When we beat ourselves up we are saying things like:
- You are stupid
- You are so unorganized
- You are never going to be successful
- You are not smart enough to make it happen
Let me go a little further and explain it to you this way….
Did you know that 95% of what we create in our life comes from our subconscious mind? The autopilot, habitual way of being. The programmed beliefs we live out. The part of us that runs in the background of our mind and carries out the path of the experiences we have.
(Wayne Dyer talks about this in the book – Wishes Fulfilled. I highly recommend this by the way.)
And therefore – ONLY 5% of what we create in our life comes from our conscious mind or the actions we take to make them happen.
When we beat ourselves up – we are programming ourselves:
- for more failure,
- for more energy drain
- or more forgetfulness
- for more of what we do not want
Surely, we want to look at all of our ways of being, how we talk to ourselves, how we relate to others, our motivation, our resistance to new ideas, our feelings, emotions, ….
But right now we are taking about beating ourselves up unnecessarily. It has to stop.
What are some ways to implement positive reinforcement instead?
Plan your life, know what you want and add positive people and support tools all around you.
- Need to get things done? Find a time where you know you can do it. If it’s paying a bill – put it on the calendar to do the task when you are at home, since you’re more likely to have the information you’ll need. And set a reminder to alert you before your scheduled time to do the task.
- Need some clarity so you feel good about your decisions? Ask. Let yourself receive support. There are many resources, groups, mentors or information online. Stop beating yourself up for not knowing the answer. Be on a mission to find it.
- Is life kind of tough right now? If so, it's time to do something different. If you keep doing the same thing you will keep getting the same results. As I mentioned, it is primarily about our mindset and our beliefs that create our reality. Learn about the universal laws and how this impacts you and how you can use it to your greatest advantage.
- Negative thoughts filling your head? Reframe them right now by recalling 5 awesome things you have done in your life, giving yourself credit for what you have accomplished today, remember something super funny or fun, embody love feelings for someone or something and let it fill you up.
Stop beating yourself up for:
- Forgetting something
- For not having the perfect job or amount of money you desire
- For not having the relationship or friends or clients you deserve
- For not having the education or experience others have
- For not knowing how to do, have or understand
- For being overweight, underweight, short, tall, freckled, tan ..or looking like YOU
Stop creating what you don’t want. Stop wasting your time, your energy, your life.
It’s a new day.
I am making a new choice and I choose:
- To forgive me
- To love me
- To learn what I need
- To go move forward
- I can have it all and it doesn’t have to hurt
Empowerment Coach & Law of Attraction Trainer